It's been confirmed . . .

I'm the palest living soul on the face of the earth.

I've mentioned that my kiddo is getting married in April. Well, after taking a break Monday afternoon for a little sushi, Robert and I decided to go into the bridal shop in the same center just to look. They had a gorgeous rainbow of evening/prom gowns and wedding gowns and bridesmaid dresses . . . and a group of mother dresses that were better suited to . . . well, my mother than me. (Though I did find a gorgeous black velvet dress . . . not that I have a need for a black velvet gown, darn it.)

Since the cute little sales girl looked appalled that I waited until seven weeks before the wedding to start shopping, and we had nothing else pressing, we went to the mall across the street, where I found more gorgeous dresses that were totally inappropriate for the kiddo's mom at his wedding.

But I did find some that had promise, and after much indecision, I narrowed it down to one. Don't get the wrong idea when I say it reminds me of a tablecloth – it's heavy lace over a satin underdress – because it's very lovely. It's ecru in color, with bits of gold woven into the thread and a pinky-peachy undertone, which goes perfect with the pinky-peachy wrap I found to go with it.

But it's got narrow little straps, with a deeper neckline than I'm accustomed to, both in front and back. In other words, it reveals skin that I'm not used to revealing, and it is pale. As in wan. Deathly. To use one of Robert's favorite descriptions, fish-belly white. And, as we all know, the days when death-warmed-over was considered attractive are long gone.

I don't ordinarily go to tanning salons (obviously), and there's no way on earth I could conceivably get a tan the normal way in only seven weeks. I'm a redhead and have the freckles and difficult-to-tan skin to prove it. So . . . along with getting ready for the kiddo's homecoming, shopping, the wedding, maybe dieting a few days – oh, yeah, and writing – it looks like I may have to bite the bullet and go into the tanning bed. Don't want to look like some un-crossed-over spirit in the wedding photos! Rachel2:47 PM