I vant to suck your blooood

I never understood the fascination with vampires -- never thought they were sexy, never liked watching movies about them or reading books about them, never found they heated up anything except my "ick" factor.

I mention this because sooo many of the books I've come across lately -- all erotica, by the way -- feature vampires. When they start talking about feeding on blood, I just want to puke, and when the heroines get THE most incredible orgasms in all of eternity while being bitten, I get giggly. The whole thing is just WEIRD.

And I don't know if this is some sort of vampire lore, but they've all included lots of shower/sex scenes -- every one of them. Makes 'em sound more like some sort of amphibian life force to me.

Speaking of vampire lore, another thing that drives me nuts is that there's no standard "vampire lore" in these books. In one they can't come out during the day; in another, daylight not only doesn't hurt them, it sustains them. In one they have to have human blood from time to time; in a lot of others, any blood will do so it's usually animal; in another, biting during great sex (and vampires ALWAYS have the greatest sex) is a substitute for feeding. It's like the authors have decided that since there's no FACTUAL lore (isn't that a contradiction in terms?) that they'll just make up any sort of creature and call him a vampire and readers will buy it.

So why am I reading them? I like erotica (normally) and they're freebies. I'm a reader. I can't turn away a free book without at least giving it a chance. But I'm quickly developing a dislike for the whole subgenre. One of these days I'm going to miss out on a truly great vampire story -- if there could be such a thing -- because all of these others have . . . well, sucked me dry. Give me a good wizard story . . . a shapeshifter . . . an alien . . . or, wow, here's a bold idea: give me a normal human male who's sexy as hell without looking like he's in bad need of good dental care.

Just no more vampires, please! I already gave my blood at the lab. Rachel8:35 AM