My morning chuckle from Benjamin Shaw

I was wasting a little time on the Net and thought I'd check out The Assassin on Amazon, and found that Benjamin Shaw of Greenville, South Carolina, posted on the book, giving it one star, along with the header, "Don't waste your money."

Then he proceeded to say that fans of Janet Evanovich and Dan Brown will probably enjoy the book and that it's fast-paced. That's his idea of an insult??? Sheesh, bring it on, Ben! If even a fraction of the millions of Evanovich/Brown fans out there buy this book, I'll be thrilled. And fast-paced -- heck, who wants to read a suspense that isn't fast-paced??

To give Ben his due, he does get into real insults in the review, but when you open with the Evanovich/Brown line, the rest just doesn't matter.

Which brings me to something that's puzzled me for years -- online booksellers' policy of allowing readers to post negative reviews. I've never, ever seen a commercial or print ad that says, "Sophy Schlub of St. Paul says this product sucked big-time, but we're hoping you'll go ahead and buy it anyway." Can you imagine ol' Ben walking into Barnes and Noble or Borders with printed copies of his review and the store letting him post them on the shelf where the book sits? Or the clerk at Waldenbooks saying, "Oh, you're buying The Assassin. Well, Liz in Texas loved it, but Ben in South Carolina said it was a waste of money. Do you still want to buy it?"

Giving negative feedback at the point of purchase of a product you're trying to sell is just too weird a process for my logical brain to wrap itself around. And that brings me to my theory. You knew I had one, didn't you? I think most people out there are like me. I pay zero attention to Amazon reviews. Oh, they're fun to read, and when someone says something lovely about your work, that's always great. But I've never bought a book because of a review, and I've never not bought one because of a review.

I don't even see reviews on a particular book unless, for some reason, I've gone looking for that book. If I'm already interested, Ben in South Carolina isn't going to sway me. I don't know him; I don't have a clue what his tastes are (well, yeah, I do -- he apparently doesn't like mega-sellers, and wants stories that craaawwwlll their way to the resolution). There are very few people I take book-buying advice from -- not even, sometimes, my best buds. Two of my three "sisters" and I all read the same book recently -- one loved it, one didn't get past the first chapter, and I put it down after three or four chapters, disappointed that the heroine didn't get killed in the attack that had just taken place.

So, keeping this in mind, I've decided Amazon allows negative reviews for two reasons -- they know most shoppers won't pay attention to them, and it makes their disgruntled customers happy to have a place to vent. (Frankly, I can't imagine wasting time writing a negative post/review/letter after reading a book I didn't like, when I can just jump right into the next one on the pile.) But for whatever reason, people like Ben feel better after putting their half-cent's worth out there for the world to see, and it doesn't hurt anyone.

Well, not permanently. Author egos are often fragile, and for a lot of them, a hateful comment, even from a stranger, can sting for a while. Thankfully, I'm way tougher than that! Rachel8:11 AM